Why people have affairs?
Talk about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Amusing thing, extramarital affairs have been going on ever since old ages. Extramarital affairs can be fraught with evils, cause despair, and other harms. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty matter, funds, age dissimilarity, religious background, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I should define an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married women for dating.
Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are people seeking affairs. I am conserned generally though it is just the human condition, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us get away the world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can turn the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another person, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos culture has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not injure your relatives or anybody else? You will need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the biggest cluster, huge truly. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they feel comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your assets are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair at times solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a common groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the husband is sexually neglecting his woman for a multitude of reasons. As a male I truly am grateful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them accessible to us males of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is gone, maybe it is the closeness, could be neglect. Could be we have simply grown apart, our common interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is contradictory of what you want. Could be I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that sensation that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.